Saturday, January 30, 2010

Hello Operator?

I'm having a really hard time with using my work phone with the new hearing aids. The hearing aids have a phone feature programmed into them, which is supposed to help me hear better on the phone. However, unless the phone is held in the perfect location on my ear, the phone setting keeps turning off and on and is causing me to lose some of the conversation. I've had to resort to using the speaker phone, which is a little bit awkward with conversations that don't need to be broadcast into the whole office.

I have a follow up appointment with the audiologist next week and I hope they'll be able to help me with this issue. The only other problem I'm having is that my right ear hearing aid is rubbing awkwardly and making my ear quite sore. This is something the audiologist should be able to fix easily for me this week.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

My Arch-Nemesis'

It's been a few days since I've blogged so I have some catching up to do. I continue to be impressed by the new ears. I am definitely hearing a lot better and I am beginning to feel more confident wearing them. They have even defeated one of my worst nemesis' ... wind. With my in the ear hearing aids I was useless on a windy day because the sound of the wind was just so strong. Finally, because the mic is located behind my ear I can finally carry on a conversation with someone outside in a windy day!

My second nemesis is moisture, I cringe every time I see it raining outside. My second challenge is with sports, particularly when I play hockey. My behind the ear hearing aids don't work in my helmet and I'm terrified about sweat damaging them. So, when I play I just put in my old pair that way if something does happen it's not the end of the world. The second rough part about hockey is the shower after. Obviously, I have to take out my hearing aids out when I hit the showers after hockey and if standing in a big communal shower with a bunch of guys isn't slightly awkward already, not being able to hear what they're saying magnifies that. Luckily, most of the guys talk loudly anyways but, when in doubt I can always fall back on the "smile and nod", which could lead to it's own set of problems ...

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Cocktail Party Syndrome

Last night was Mike and Kelly's wedding in NOTL. It was a fantastic ceremony and reception and I had a great time. It was also the first test for my new hearing aids in a loud room with a lot of background noise. I normally dread these types of situations and in some cases become a bit reclusive because it's very difficult for me to hear much of anything; all of the sounds blend together for one overwhelming experience. However, last night was much better than it has been in the past. There were a couple folks that I talked to over the course of the night that I struggled to hear more than others; but I assume that's the same with everyone. I have always struggled with women's voices more so then men; it's the higher frequencies that I struggle to hear the most. Overall, I was very happy with how I was hearing things last night and that helped me to have a great time.

It was also great last night to hear the encouraging words from my friends about this blog. I was slightly surprised to hear that so many had read it and how much they liked it. I was thankful that this blog has initiated a dialogue with people and myself to talk about the situation and I find it very therapeutic. It's a bit humorous and frustrating that it took me this long to have the confidence to talk about it openly about my hearing.

I was also reminded about why it's sometimes great to not hear so well. Apparently, Darren was snoring quite loud most of the night, which kept the girls up. Additionally, the Best Western cleaning staff begins to make the rounds at 3 a.m. which woke up everyone except me!

The next big test will be tonight at the Guns N Roses concert ... stay tuned.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Did You Hear That?

I just picked up my new ears from the Audiologist. I got the Epoq XW OBTE-Rite Power and so far so good. I have been mentally preparing myself about going behind ear for the past couple weeks. As much as the size bothers me, they really are a lot better. I'm already hearing things I had never heard before, which is really exciting and annoying all at the same time. I can hear the TV from the kitchen now and I can hear a car door close outside from inside the house. But, I can also hear the sound of my coat rubbing on itself when I move my arms and to my surprise yes, the fish tank really is as loud as my girlfriend says it is ... who knew!

Things also sound different. Sounds aren't just amplified louder they are in moderation, which is what I assume most people would hear like. The true test will come when I'm in a loud room with a lot of people. I have always struggled with this regardless of what model hearing aid I've had. Old models are almost painful in those loud situations because everything is even louder and directional models never seem to know what sound to focus on. This new model already seems more balanced.

On the downside, I'm getting a little feedback but that is probably due to a little wax residue in my ear that will eventually clear out. I've got two weeks to put them through their paces before I go back to the audiologist to get some fine tuning done. I also noticed that "s" and "sh" sounds don't sound quite right depending on the volume so that's another thing that might need to be adjusted soon.

Overall, I'm pleased so far and hopefully will stay this way. I think I'm going to be happy with these.

On a side note, thank you to everyone for reading my blog and leaving comments. It's very encouraging to know that people are looking at this and giving it some thought. I also appreciate the words of support, they mean a lot to me as do the people who give them.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Unfamiliar Territory - Going Behind the Ear

On Thursday I am getting new hearing aids. This is always a tough time for me because for the past few years each new pair is a little bit bigger because they need to be a little bit stronger. Thursday will be no different as I am finally going with a behind the ear hearing aid. I did have the option to go with an in the ear model similar to what I have now, but over the past three years I have had to send them back at least once a year for repair and I have never been happy with the way things sound with my current pair.

So ... behind the ear hearing aid. I don't like the sounds of it. In my mind I picture this huge clunker piece sitting in my ear. In reality, technology has progressed so much it's actually quite small. It's the size of the thing that really gets to me, it's always been so important to me to keep it small so that no one notices and with the new one's I will no longer be able to hide it. I've been able to ease myself this time around by reminding myself it's not about what it looks like, it's about improving my quality of life. However, regardless of how I feel about it now, when they are there in front of me and I put them in for the first time it's going to be hard. It's funny how you can be so vain about something that is going to make life easier for you.

As hard as all of this will be for me over the coming weeks, I will get used to it, I always do. I'll adjust my life to embrace any new restrictions and I hope to open some new doors of possibility because of the quality of the hearing aid. In the grand scheme of things, nobody cares that I have hearing aids accept me, no one is judging me; it's all in my head.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

What's the Frequency? - How I Got to Where I Am

Since this is my inaugural blog, let me tell you a bit about myself and my story...

I was diagnosed with a moderate hearing loss in my left ear and a severe hearing loss in my right ear at the age of 18.  Hearing loss is hereditary in my family on my Mother's side and my loss was progressive.  Eventually, it became noticeable to others that I wasn't hearing properly, but to me, I thought everyone heard like me.  As you can imagine, being dealt something like this at the age of 18 was pretty devastating.  I was at a point in my life where what people think of me is of the utmost importance and having one more thing to be self-conscious about was not what I wanted/needed.

To my surprise and relief my friends and others were remarkably understanding and supportive.  To their relief and mine, there was finally an explanation of why I was missing so much conversation.  However, regardless of how supportive they were to my face I was always worried about what they were saying when I wasn't around.  To a certain extent, over 10 years later I've never lost that feeling but it has subsided.

My biggest struggle with my hearing loss has been the emotional and mental stress that I put on myself from not knowing how to handle my new life and limitations.  I felt as though I had to face everything alone and learn how to deal with things on my own without anyone to fall back to for advice.  I partially blame myself for some of this because I was too proud to ask for help; I do wish to some extent that others had reached out to me more, just to let me know they were there if I needed/wanted it.

Today I am a 29 year old hearing impaired man who does not want to let others go through the struggles that I did.  I am still frustrated by the lack of emotional resources available for people who are diagnosed with hearing impairments.  I hope that this blog provides people with some help.  I want them to know that they are not alone and there are people who are going through the same things they are and that there are people out there who can help them.  I wish that there was more that I can do, and perhaps in the future there will be; but this is a start.