On Thursday I am getting new hearing aids. This is always a tough time for me because for the past few years each new pair is a little bit bigger because they need to be a little bit stronger. Thursday will be no different as I am finally going with a behind the ear hearing aid. I did have the option to go with an in the ear model similar to what I have now, but over the past three years I have had to send them back at least once a year for repair and I have never been happy with the way things sound with my current pair.
So ... behind the ear hearing aid. I don't like the sounds of it. In my mind I picture this huge clunker piece sitting in my ear. In reality, technology has progressed so much it's actually quite small. It's the size of the thing that really gets to me, it's always been so important to me to keep it small so that no one notices and with the new one's I will no longer be able to hide it. I've been able to ease myself this time around by reminding myself it's not about what it looks like, it's about improving my quality of life. However, regardless of how I feel about it now, when they are there in front of me and I put them in for the first time it's going to be hard. It's funny how you can be so vain about something that is going to make life easier for you.
As hard as all of this will be for me over the coming weeks, I will get used to it, I always do. I'll adjust my life to embrace any new restrictions and I hope to open some new doors of possibility because of the quality of the hearing aid. In the grand scheme of things, nobody cares that I have hearing aids accept me, no one is judging me; it's all in my head.
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First things first, I will refrain from any size jokes.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, I hope you realize that most of your friends and family think you are wonderful, and don't judge based on the presence/appearance/size of any hearing aid.
The ones that do are either insecure themselves and grasping for any reason to mock others, have no idea how to handle their own discomfort if they think the topic is off limits, or else they are just generally jerks.
I think sometimes friends don't know if it is PC to talk about it, or ask about it, but I am guessing that many would be very open about it if you wanted to talk. I know Stephen and I are. My guess is that most people wouldn't want to bring it up, in case it was something upsetting that you didn't WANT to talk about.
We are always here. We both think you (and JP) are fabulous. The hearing issues are non-issues to us, however if there is anything we can do to make things easier for you at any point or in any situation, please don't hesitate to let us know.
Good luck with the new 2010 model... Look forward to reading future posts (but I promise I won't get all mushy on you, lol).
I read both of your blog posts and was intrigued by the content. I think it gives people without hearing impairments some insight as to what it is like to be you. I appreciated the part when you talk about how you think people will react to your disability, because that is an issue that affects most people on a wide variety of different issues. It’s funny how a person can have certain perceptions about themselves and how others perceive them, only to find out how differently people feel once a dialogue on the issue begins. It takes a lot of courage to start a discussion on an issue that you struggle with. Kudos to you for being so honest about it.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the new hearing aid, probably the only person who will notice it is you!